Thursday, February 27, 2003

"that sure takes me back to my sugar cane plantation days."

hey, it's the best thing i've ever heard in line at the post office.

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

does anyone know if there's a way to enable html in the comments box? i use enetation.


i'm so glad that the english language has two-word infinitives. otherwise, i wouldn't be able to say things like, "there are two kinds of people in this world. those who know not to split infinitives, and those who don't."


it's hard for me to explain how terrible was the t.a.t.u. performance i just saw on leno. but if i don't at least try, it will just fester in my brain forever.

first of all, i can say gratefully that i was not familiar with t.a.t.u. outside a sole listen i had at the request of a friend who guaranteed it would be good for laughs. if your knowledge of them is even less, count your blessings and then consider the following. t.a.t.u. is, for lack of a good description because they're so awful that they don't really warrant one, fake lesbian girl power pop rock from russia. their big "hit" has, like, two lines, and it goes something like this (and before anyone asks, no; i don't know what it means, either. i guess i'm not deep or fake-gay enough to *get it*):

"all the things she said all the things she said! it's not enough it's not enough! [the girls make out.]"

so this group, which consists of two girls and their backup band, has apparently charmed the ears of america and weasled their way into late-night television, and when i switch on the t.v. and hear, "next up, t.a.t.u.!" then of course i have to watch it, kind of like you have to look at the remains of a car wreck as you drive past, even though you know that if you stare too long, you'll probably crash your own vehicle.

and the result was what would logically be suspected:

"all the things she said all the things she said! it's not enough it's not enough! [the girls make out.]"

the same two lines, the same making out, but with the visual dimension. and the visual equivalent of a long, awkward pause, when the girls turned to one another to kiss (no, no reason) and the camera quickly panned away to the guitarist and stayed focused on him for a good minute until it could return to the girls, pulling apart, love-flushed. additionally, they couldn't sing for shit and they lip-synched half the time (i know this is normal these days but come on, there are two lines).

seriously, all these girls have going for them is the marketable ability to make out on stage. and the network won't even let us watch it? if they're going to subject us to this cacophonous trash -- trash -- then at least let us enjoy the probably equally funny visual.

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update, midday wednesday: when i voluntarily watched the t.a.t.u. performance last night, i didn't realize i'd pay for it by hearing their song repeat itself in my head all day. sheesh, wasn't the actual viewing punishment enough?

Tuesday, February 25, 2003


am wearing huge t-shirt to accomodate feeling of largeness while unwisely making quesadilla and watching late-night television.

am using sense of impending death by head cold to excuse normally unacceptable actions, like avoiding all forms of 'work' or 'effort' or 'room-cleaning'.

am trying out diet coke for possible throat-healing prowess.

am wishing chocolate were medicinal, because there's some on my desk, tauntingly calling my name.

am attempting to figure out why the world doesn't come to a halt when i do. "boo," i say to the world. "boooooo."

- - -

i'm so bad! to myself, i mean.


phlegm = mucusified misery.

Monday, February 24, 2003

my throat hurts so badly that the thought of lying down so that the filth in there is on the same horizontal as the rest of my body makes me want to stay up all night long. anyone looking for company?


last night i went to the epicentre to see ben kweller in concert and was pleasantly surprised to find out that one of his openers was brendan benson. how i didn't know this before, well, i don't know.

anyway, it was an ab fab show and you are now "looking" at the proud owner of this and this. also the not-so-proud poverty-stricken individual who will now transfer money from savings to pay rent. ciao.

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